Engagement Campaign Elevator Pitch

I agree with you Hugh. Thank you for the alternative wording.

Would it be better to say at the end: "and we would like to meet/talk/present at your next meeting to.....". "Want" seems a bit preemptory to me.

@Elizabeth Lowe @Susie Barson @Dorothy Newton @Hugh White @Susan Lowenthal Here's the Loomio thread

Here are some further thoughts building on Adam's revised text. My key point is that if we are hoping to engage very busy people we need to use the first 10 seconds to say who we are, what we are doing and why we are contacting them. Hence I've combined parts of the last paragraph with the first. Other amendments are less substantive. Text below. I attach my working copy to show changes but not sure how much remains on converting the Apple Pages to Word.

I am contacting you on behalf of the Finsbury Park and Stroud Green Neighbourhood Forum. We’re preparing a Neighbourhood Plan for the area. We want to meet as many people as possible who live and work around Finsbury Park to understand what they think about the area and what they want to see change.

Finsbury Park and Stroud Green is where three Boroughs – Islington, Hackney and Haringey – join. It’s a busy and vibrant area, but it doesn’t always get the attention it deserves. This can change.

The Neighbourhood Forum is made up of volunteers from the area like myself.  Our purpose is to generate a shared vision for the area embodied in a Neighbourhood Plan, a planning document that the three boroughs must abide by once it is approved in a local referendum.

The Plan will cover future development and regeneration, both residential and business, specifically around Finsbury Park station and the streets leading to and from it, as well as  the rest of the Forum area that has been agreed with the 3 councils.

We want to identify land and buildings for development, protect other areas from development, and set standards for the quality and design of new buildings. The Plan will also identify projects and improvements in the area that local residents want to see funded.

We are preparing the Plan over the next 18 months and I want to meet/talk/attend your next meeting to gather your ideas and help to ensure the Plan is doing what matters to local people.

Great stuff, Matt! I've added some to make it sound a bit more personal but in the process lengthened it a bit too much. Maybe someone can edit it down a bit?

I am contacting you on behalf of the Finsbury Park and Stroud Green Neighbourhood Forum. We’re preparing a Neighbourhood Plan for the area.

Finsbury Park and Stroud Green is where three Boroughs – Islington, Hackney and Haringey – join. Its a busy and vibrant area, but it doesn’t always get the attention it deserves.

The Neighbourhood Forum is made up of volunteers like myself from the area, with the goal of creating a shared vision for the area embodied in a Neighbourhood Plan, a planning document that the three boroughs must abide by once it is approved in a local referendum.

The Plan will cover future development and regeneration, both residential and business, for example around Finsbury Park station and the streets leading to and from it, but covering the specific area of Finsbury Park and Stroud Green that we have already agreed with the 3 councils.

We want to identify land and buildings for development, protect other areas from development, and set standards for the quality and design of new buildings. It will also identify projects and improvements that local residents want to see funded in the area.

We are preparing the plan over the next 18 months and want to meet with different people around Finsbury Park to understand what they think about the area and what they want to see change.

I want to meet/talk/attend your next meeting to gather ideas and help ensure the Plan is doing what matters to local people.

Suggested text for elevator pitch (starter for ten):

I am contacting you on behalf of the Finsbury Park and Stroud Green Neighbourhood Forum. We’re preparing a Neighbourhood Plan for the area.

Finsbury Park and Stroud Green is where three Boroughs – Islington, Hackney and Haringey – join. Its a busy and vibrant area, but it doesn’t always get the attention it deserves.

The Neighbourhood Plan will generate a shared vision for what people want to see happen in the area, including its future development and regeneration. A particular focus could be the area around the station and the streets leading to and from it, as well as areas where people live and work. The Plan will identify land and buildings for development, protect other areas from development, and set standards for the quality and design of new buildings. It will also identify projects and improvements that local residents want to see funded in the area.

We are preparing the plan over the next 18 months and once produced it will be voted upon by all residents in a local referendum. As a starting point, we want to meet with different people around Finsbury Park to understand what they think about the area and what they want to see change.

I want to meet/talk/attend your next meeting to gather ideas and help ensure the Plan is doing what matters to local people.