Vincient

Josh gave an ultimatum when we talked about Dax as well. He is upset because when trying to talk about his feelings he was being aggressive towards Vincent and it didn't end with him getting what he wanted. He was asking him questions that had no correct answer, kind of like a parents asks "why did you do that" and keeps asking no matter what you say. He left the circle after vincent ask him to stop talking because he continued barraiding him.

The current plan was to have him come and work from 8-11 ish each weekday on planting related projects. No meals, no communal meetings, no interactions with the community. What we are talking about now is whether i need to do what josh requests because of his emotionally charged feelings. Which is to tell him he is not a companion plants and therefore not part of the community, but he needs to listen to core members and respect community agreements. It just doesn't make any sense.

What i said was true, Geiner does not take order/requests from members, he doesn't need me to work with him, and he doesn't have a clue about any of our agreements. So if/when i bring on new employees that will be the same deal. I'm not hiring people to have a group of bosses and expectations. So if i'm to bring him on as an employee I was making it clear that he isn't a farm employee, no hires working for the farm work for the community.

I want to work with him because he has skills and abilities that farm could use, as well as that i have seen a lack in community support that led to the outcome of this event. I instructed to community on what to do to prevent this in the kitchen and it was not adhered to and this was the result.

I left the circle because of the back and forth and no one stepping in to stop it, seem to be a lack of a heart keeper or not keeping things on track by the facilitator. When I was getting around to speaking Vincent keep interrupting me while I had the stick, after being asked by Vincent previously to allow the person with the stick to speak. And I only asked my question twice and it was "Why do you think you can say no to a request to leave by the community?" and the first time I wasn't clear on his answer so i asked again. That is when the back and forth started to happen. Then another question was asked by another member of the circle and Vincent kept saying to answer your question Josh. The back and forth was a cause from different point of views of how things occurred and assumptions by of us.

The fact that you say no one adhered to your request is the result of all is this doesn't take into account that a lot of other factors. What I hear out of that statement "i have seen a lack in community support that led to the outcome of this event. I instructed to community on what to do to prevent this in the kitchen and it was not adhered to and this was the result. " is that no one tried anything but you, and is very hurtful. I was on Vincent's side until the first heavy interaction. Talking to him at and also setting up times for people to talk to him to try to help with all the people that were getting effected by his emotions and energy. The fact that one person has so many bad experiences with others on the farm and tells everyone that is their fault and takes no responsibility for their emotions and actions shows a lot of a person. Then when I tried take responsibility away he would come to me be " i have changed, i'm ready, I need this, Its healing for me".

My emotional feeling I am feeling now towards him is DisTrust and do not wish to be around the toxin energy that i feel from him. The "ultimatum" of leaving is that I don't have to be here when he is here. I can be at other places than Finca Morpho during the times of certain toxic energies I no longer wish to be around.

There are also the feeling of others that don't wish to be around him besides me.

I did try to stop it, i told you he had answered and you said it wasn't an answer. Your energies in the this situation, in the situation with Luigi, in the situation with meat pan and further the situations with Dax, show a pattern for your ability to handle people as well. Hence why i said you should look inside. The way you talked to him was as if you were an angry parent. If you want more reflection on this we can do a talk with Devon and the other people present.

He did take credit for the way he behaved, you just were not there. When he said there were 4 people crying that day, he was saying that he was the 4th person. There are many things you miss in communication with people by not being able to manage your own feelings.

I told the core to split up the day and take control of the kitchen by taking responsibility. It didn't happen and the situation continued. I didn't say to try something else. I knew what i was talking about when it came to responsibly perceptions and balanced sharing of workload by core members.

I haven't asked anyone to be around him. In fact people have went out of their way to ensure or try to ensure that they don't have to see him. I've offered space for people to discuss their feelings as I will continue to do.

I would love to have a talk about it all with a skilled facilitator in conflict resolution.

Or try again? Maybe we can record it so to eliminate speculation.

The questions raised by Danielle are indeed very important. It’s too simplistic to blame Vincent’s behavior on him being in a stressful position. There are many who would’ve handled similar stress without treating people like he did, and this has been an on-going behavioral issue since last season (and, as I understand, in other communities as well). I, for one, did everything I could to mobilize the community around addressing the unhealthy power dynamic at play, and I know others did what they could as well.
Coming from an abundance mindset, there are many people, skilled in various ways, who are drawn to Finca Morpho who would have a positive effect on this nomadic community. We needn’t feel like we need to compromise our values and wellbeing solely because of someone’s supposed skill set. Besides ability to work, are there other reasons that Ticon would like to have him be involved in the farm? Could the fact that Vincent’s child is on the farm be part of what is swaying in his favor?
Also, since it was mentioned in this thread, I wanted to clarify that although Josh is not comfortable having Vincent as a companion plant, he did state at our last core meeting that he is open to having a companion plant relationship with Dax.

I wasn't trying to blame anyone, just pointing out that if we see a problem and do nothing to take care of it when several people have pointed out that something needed to happen we also have to take credit for the situation we created by failing to take our responsibilities.

I'm not asking anyone to work with him, talk to him, or even deal with him. I have not been able to get anyone to talk to me long enough to work out any 3D steps or guidelines to this or any other situation. What am I to do when. No one has time or energy?

At the same time I'm being asked indirectly to not let him come on the farm.

Does he deserve not to be able to hang out , visit his family, or visit the farm? Has his behavior really gotten to a point where no one can be friends with him and doesn't want anyone else to be friends with him?

Was he contrbuting to tons of issues outside of the kitchen? Are we really so worried that we think he will run around yelling at people's MSN causing dramam?

Im gonna put this here.. It's, on how to disagree well. It's rather long, but my advice for skimming it would be to study the diagram categorizing arguments, and skip to the end to read the numbered list of notes on the structure of it. Then read the whole thing, if it interests you.

I love you all, and its great to disagree.. lets do it as well as we can!